Orgone Research

Somewhere in the organic chemistry curriculum, the concept of chirality must be introduced. The usual and customary example is the human hand, which which is generally issued as a pair; a right and a left. In fact the very word “chiral” is derived from the Greek word for “hand.”

In the macroscopic world that we inhabit, most of the things that are “handed” are solids, like the brass threads on a compressed gas tank. Compressed oxygen threads are right handed, while fuel gasses are left handed. It’s so important not to confuse the two they were designed to be impossible to be accidentally threaded into one another.

Today the mental image that might pop into one’s mind when we think of “black leather glove” is O.J. Simpson and the infamous courtroom one-liner “If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.” But many years ago the black leather glove created another media sensation; this time it was two leather gloves, and two men.

The scene was the winners podium at the 1968 summer Olympics in Mexico City. The following photograph became infamous almost overnight:

The Wikipedia entry on the incident provides an interesting backstory as to why Carlos is wearing a left handed glove:

Both U.S. athletes intended on bringing black gloves to the event, but Carlos forgot his, leaving them in the Olympic Village. It was the Australian, Peter Norman, who suggested Carlos wear Smith’s left-handed glove, this being the reason behind him raising his left hand, as opposed to his right, differing from the traditional Black Power salute.

But unlike a hand, which is solid and three dimensional, a glove is topologically a two dimensional surface, at least in the sense that it has two sides, an inside and an outside. Since most of us have no practical reason to be turning gloves inside out, we often don’t consider a glove to be “sided” as we think of a sheet of paper as being two sided.

So if a topologist had been on the podium with Carlos and Smith, they might have proposed that Carlos evert Smith’s glove, and so maintain a degree of symbolic consistency.

And to prove that this is not just a flight of fancy of mine, I went to the trouble of everting my own black leather glove to show it really works! Here is a right handed glove worn on my right hand:

The same glove turned inside-out, worn on the left hand:

In 2003 Mythbusters investigated a “myth” or event that allegedly occurred in 2001 aboard an airplane. Kudos to Mythbusters for at least giving us oblique references as to their source material for the “myth.” From the meager hints given on the TV, I was able to find this website, which can be translated into English using a variety of tools, including Google.

Google translates it as follows:

Woman was hungry for the SAS WC
An American woman on an SAS plane en route from Scandinavia to New York was sitting on the toilet for several hours, said TT. She tried to flush without getting up, but then formed a vacuum and she got stuck, write the Norwegian tabloid VG’s online edition. – It was impossible to get off her, “says Siv Meisingseth at SAS in Oslo to the newspaper. In New York, managed to dislodge the woman technician.
TT
Published: 2002-01-21

Mythbusters set out to test the “myth” in classic fashion, using models instead of real human beings. Thankfully their test design was able to incorporate some really good TV-grade science in modeling a prosthetic butt from a real butt. Good science should always document each phase of the test procedure and Mythbusters was up to the task:

In any event, Mythbusters couldn’t duplicate the supposed suction event. Frankly I have no quarrel with their test design or conclusion, although it should be noted that some obese people have trouble simply standing up. It’s possible that the story may have become confabulated from “failure to stand up” to “being held down by the suction of a toilet.”

Strangely enough, this was not the first time such an incident had been reported. In 1992 Led Zeppelin’s tour manager Richard Cole wrote a book entitled Stairway to Heaven: Led Zeppelin Uncensored. ISBN 0-06-018323-3. On page 250 Cole recounts an episode involving John Bonham aboard their rented Boeing 720B:

“One afternoon, on a flight to Cincinnati for a concert at Riverfront Stadium, the Starship had been in the air only fifteen minutes when I heard banging and shouts coming from the bathroom.

“Get me out! Get me out!”

It was Bonzo. The bathroom door was locked. I hit it with a couple of Bruce Lee kicks. The door trembled, then it collapsed. There, before my eyes, sat Bonzo, perched on the can with his pants down, literally unable to move.

“Help me, damn it!”

As hard as he was trying, Bonzo couldn’t stand up. Apparently, a mechanic had not properly sealed the vent beneath the toilet, and air pressure was literally sucking him down, keeping his ass anchored to the seat.

I grabbed Bonham by the arms and pulled him free. “Oh, my God!” he gasped, feeling terribly shaken but not hurt. He pulled up his pants and didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed by what had happened. He was probably just happy to be alive. As he returned to the main cabin of the plane, he mumbled, “I’m never gonna trust a toilet seat again.”

If I’m interpreting Cole’s chronology correctly, this event would have occurred in 1973!

Several years ago, I watched with great interest an episode of Mythbusters concerning the “myth” of electrocution by urinating on the third rail. According to Wikipedia this was part of the first season, episode three, original air date October 10, 2003. I watched with great interest because I believed that I had read about this very “myth” many years ago.

First off, we must consider that Mythbusters is not “real” science in the sense that it is peer-reviewed and published in scientific literature. It’s television, and on television an appeal to the lowest common denominator is the norm. Thus as time went on, Mythbusters became less scientific and more sensational, with episodes dealing with farting, shitting, and lots and lots of explosions. Oh, yeah, and that hot chick with the really nice rack…

But let’s take a close look at this particular “myth.” First off, in real science, whether performed by amateurs or professionals, you list prior research. Mythbusters almost NEVER does this, and certainly didn’t in this episode. Yet the “myths” have to come from somewhere. It was telling that the third rail episode named the victim as “O’Malley,” the stereotypical drunken Irishman.

Mythbusters, and in particular Adam Savage, have been embraced by skeptics as well. Savage has given public presentations at JREF conferences, and is considered by many a celebrity skeptic. But is it a good idea for skepticism to embrace a TV program that engages in sloppy science? A fundamental problem in the whole concept of Mythbusters is in the name itself, which presupposes that the claims they are testing are myths. Yes, I understand that “Claim Testers” is simply not sexy enough for TV. Too cerebral! Not enough explosions! More tits!

Good science CANNOT presuppose that any claim, at least those that are not logically impossible, to be a “myth.”

But lets get back to the “myth” of the electrocution death of Joseph Patrick O’Malley, who was in fact a real person and not a myth at all! How did Mythbusters fuck up their test design and come to the wrong conclusion?

Pressure! Mythbusters correctly concluded that under the circumstances of their test design, an electrolyte stream’s laminar flow would break up into small droplets, and thus be unable to carry an electrical current from the third rail to O’Malley’s penis. The problem is that Mythbusters used a feed flow based on one trip to the toilet by Savage. Well, as any man knows who has had a hugely full bladder and no prostatic hypertrophy, a vastly more robust stream of urine can be produced than that seen on the Mythbusters test dummy. This is because of the simple reason that one can bear down on the bladder with one’s abdominal muscles! You have a simple case of grossly unrealistic test conditions.

But an even more egregious breach of scientific protocol was committed in this episode: Empirical reality trumps theory and test design!

In 1967 a book was published entitled Where Death Delights written by Marshall Houts about Milton H. Helpern who was the chief medical examiner of New York City at the time. Chapter 15 is entitled “Be Careful What You Do to the World,” and details the strange case of one Joseph Patrick O’Malley, who died of electrocution by urinating on the third rail of a Bronx subway.

On page 287 Houts writes:

“Dr. Helpern made his determination of ‘accidental death’ on the basis of three small burns. One burn was on the inside surface of the right thumb, on the inside surface of the right index finger, and the third covered a somewhat larger area on the head of the penis.”

On Page 289 Houts continues:

“The fate of this particular Joseph Patrick O’Malley also involved the third rail of the subway. This is the ‘hot’ rail through which 600-volt electric current passes to furnish the energy for the subway trains. It parallels the inside rail of each track and is embedded in cement so that it is covered on three sides. The fourth side is open, facing the train, so that the contact wheel of the subway train can run against this ‘hot’ third rail to pull in the electrical current to move the motors.”

“The burns on the head of the penis and on the thumb and forefinger were obvious electrical burns.”

“For one reason or another, this Joseph Patrick O’Malley elected to literally urinate on the world at this particular time. The stream of urine had come into contact with the 600 volts of the third rail. The current coursed up the stream to cause the burns on his body as the electricity entered it. In all probability, he was dead from electrocution before the train ever hit his body.”

What’s particularly galling about this episode is this statement by the show’s announcer at the very end of the episode: “In fact, there are no recorded cases of O’Malley, or anyone else, dying like this in the New York Subway.”

Bullshit!

Remember, just because someone wants to wear the mantle of “scientist” or “skeptic” doesn’t mean that they are above scrutiny. Unfortunately this particular episode of Mythbusters was more like Monsterquest…

Where Death Delights, Marshall Houts, 1967. Library of Congress Number 67-21513

This essay originally appeared in the now-defunct Nose magazine issue 24 pages 42 and 43. The author is Tim “Zamora” Cridland, and includes two of my photographs.

Tales From The Crib

The Nose Crawls You Through the Sickening World of Medical Museums

By Tim Cridland

Photos by Matt Crowley

Herds of seedy traveling carnivals once roamed the U.S., offering staples like the girlie show, the “mitt joint” palm reader and the “ten in one” sideshow, which often included a “pickled punk” exhibit – carny slang for a dead baby in a jar. The most popular was the infamous two headed variety, “born alive!” the banners would proclaim, showing a happy baby in diapers, playing with its rattle, all four eyes beaming.

As any freak fan knows, there actually are two kinds of pickled punks: the real thing (preferred) and “bouncers,” or realistic fake rubber babies. As sideshow owners retired or moved on, collections were sold an exhibit origins became obscured; even the operators couldn’t tell the bouncers from the punks.

Pickled punks eventually became another archaic curiosity, seen only in odd books and postcards. But you don’t have to travel back in time to see the real deal. Pickled punks still exist, publicly displayed in cities all over the world. You just have to know who to ask.

Many gruesome and weird displays are kept in medical museums, often affiliated with medical schools or hospitals. If you’re lucky, you’ll see a real pickled punk (though that my not be what the label says).

Before you begin your quest for the two headed grail, keep in mind that medical museums are intended for the education of medical students, not for your entertainment. Some are open to the public, but others will require you to bribe a medical student or doctor into taking you. Play it low key. Hide that purple streak in your hair, Take out those lip piercings. Leave the Beavis and Butt-head T-shirt at home. Carry a note pad and try to look like a student. Don’t go in groups of more than three. For god’s sake, don’t blow it for everyone. Even if that Cyclops baby is demanding that you scream or giggle, try to stifle it. “Look at the size of that colon!” you may want to holler to your pal across the room. Internalize your commentary. Save the conversation for dinner.

Museum Vrolik, Amsterdam Medical Center

Where: Outside Amsterdam, the Netherlands

Getting In: Open to the public, but don’t flaunt your status as a layman.

A visit to Amsterdam might mean smoking some hemp and checking out the red light district, but don’t sell yourself short by missing one of the world’s biggest collections of malformed babies in jars. It’s not in any of the tourist guides, and not many locals know about it. Take a train several stops out of Amsterdam. The Medical Center is the only thing at the stop, so it’s hard to miss. Get off and follow everybody else into the main building. Keep going straight past the library, toward the back. Go into the main entrance. Act like you belong there.

Contents: A wall of deformed skulls, deformed baby skeletons, about 40 or so malformed fetuses, Cyclops babies, elephant-nosed babies, pinhead babies, two-headed babies, two bodied and one-headed babies, a blob of flesh with a face.

Most medical museums have a “No Photographs Allowed” policy. When Matt started clicking off some shots, a doctor started yelling at him in Dutch. Matt asked in English, “Is there a problem here?”

“It is you who have the problem!” the irritated physician retorted. Luckily, Matt snapped a couple of skeleton frames before he made us put the camera away. (see photos)

Mutter Museum, College of Surgeons

Where: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Getting In: The public is welcome.

No need to bribe a medical student; they encourage all comers. Their popular calendar features images by photographers like Joel-Peter Witkin.

Contents: Malformed skulls, things people have swallowed, old gynecological tools, deformed baby skeletons, a giant’s skeleton, semi-ossified skeletal remains, a soap corpse. Bonus freak point: Not only do they have the death cast of Eng and Chang, the original Siamese twins, they also have their preserved and still joined liver, which has yellowed over the years.

Fetus collection, Tulane Medical School

Where: New Orleans

Getting In: You are in a “restricted area.” Go there with a student.

Walk briskly into the building-don’t linger in the lobby. Tulane security is stationed there and may question you. If there is an open elevator, head straight to the third floor. If not, go for the stairs, on your right and go up four flights (there is a mezzanine between first and second). The exhibit is along the third floor’s hallways. At first, it appears to be a fairly mundane “growth of the fetus” display, but as you move along, the deformities are presented. By the time you reach the end of the hall, it’s freakshow time.

Contents: Pinhead babies, Siamese twin babies, two headed baby, no-brain babies. Freakshow bonus; Anomalous tiny “goat-boy baby” near the end, with strange horn-like things growing out of its head and hoof-like hands.

Tulane also features mirrors behind the exhibits for all-around viewing. My visit had an added bonus: four police officers showed up and ushered us to the exit.

Here are museums I have not visited but know people who have:

National Museum of Health and Medicine, Walter Reed Medical Center

Where: Washington D.C.

Getting In: General Public welcome.

The Walter Reed Medical Museum used to be right next to one of the Smithsonian buildings. Some suspect that people accidentally wandering into Walter Reed’s ‘elephantiasis of the genitals’ exhibit were the source of those “the Smithsonian had John Dillinger’s 20-inch penis in a jar” rumors. After moving across town, the Walter Reed Museum has reportedly tried to make their exhibits more family oriented, All the good stuff is now in the back room and you need special permission to see it. They apparently still have “conjoined twins” in a jar, however.

Hunterian Museum, Royal College of Surgeons

Where: London

Getting In: Bring a doctor. They are strict.

This is supposed to be one of the best and is reputed to contain the Elephant Man’s bones.

Here are some other museums of interest:

Morgue Museum

Room 601, Office of the Chief Medical Examiner of New York, New York City

Rumored Contents: Cyclops fetus, eight-pound heart, mummified babies, other atrocities

Wayne County Morgue Museum

Detroit Michigan

Rumored Contents: Shriveled heads and penises, gouged skulls, mummified hands.

Anatomy Museum (Anatomisch Sammlung)

Basel, Switzerland, Pestazzistrasse 20

Rumored Contents: Very old fetuses and skeletons

Kulturama

Zurich, Switzerland, Espenhofweg 60

Rumored Contents:

Painted and posed skeletons, preserved embryos and organs, birth-control display

Kunstkammer Section of St. Petersburg Museum

St. Petersburg, Russia

Rumored Contents: Collection of Peter the Great – One-eyed baby, four legged rooster, pickled child’s arm holding a human eyeball

Thanks to Ray Nelke and Collectors of Unusual Data International, Anneli S. Rufus and Kristan Lawson for Europe Off the Wall and Roadside America.

Postscript

I’m not sure what the publication date of the original Nose issue was, I suspect it would have been in the early part of 1994. Strangely, I hardly remember the trip to the museum, except for the encounter with the doctor that Tim mentioned! So much happened in so little time when I was on the sideshow that truly amazing things began to be taken for granted. Anyway, here are two photos that I took inside the Vrolik before being told to stop:

James Mundie was recently granted access to several museum including the Vrolic, and uploaded a number of genuinely outstanding photographs to his Flickr stream.